Sitting on a saddle (on the floor) gives a YAFM if you have sufficient skill in riding rather than the standard “It’s not very comfortable…”

When a python is resurrected, it gets a special message “The python stops pining for the fjords” as a Monty Python reference.

Additional YAFMs that may replace the “You hear your heart beat” message for applying a cursed stethoscope at yourself:

• If hallucinating, “You hear a soothsayer with the weather forecast.” This is followed by either “Gehennom will get a rain of burning pitch later today.” or “The dungeon will be cool, with a stony gray overcast.”
• Otherwise, if undead, “You hear the ocean’s roar.”
• Otherwise, if a Wizard, “You hear yourself mumbling curses.”
• Otherwise, the usual heartbeat message.

Hallucinatory alternative to the typical you’re-about-to-die messages: “You hear the fat lady warming up.”

2% of the time after getting the “Blecch! Rotten food!” message as a Tourist, you get one of the following YAFMs:

• “This is not as the travel agency described it!”
• “The native cuisine is not entirely to your liking.”
• “Definitely authentic native cuisine.”
• “Ugh! The local food explains the dispositions of the locals.”
• “This must be that ‘hate cuisine’ you read about.”
• “Where’s the garlic and steaks you heard about?”

Attacking Famine with food should produce some slight effect, like minimal damage, the food disintegrating, or possibly no more than a YAFM about Famine looking offended.

YAFM when you are hallucinating and would hear one of the “sink on the level” noises: “You have a sinking feeling”, or “You hear something that gives you a sinking feeling”.

Give a YAFM for attempting to apply a bullwhip towards an adjacent space containing a horse corpse: “Stop beating that dead horse!”

Add YAFMs:

• Combat messages produced when you attack a hallucinogen-distorted fog cloud are replaced by “You attack thick air.”
• When you try to engrave when engulfed by a dust vortex: “You try to write in the dust, but it won’t stand still!”
• When you get out of an air elemental (that you didn’t kill) while hallucinating: “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”
• When you attempt to move into a Mordor orc with the m prefix: “You fail to simply walk into the Mordor orc.”
• When a sasquatch is blinded by a camera flash: “Unfortunately, that picture’s probably going to come out blurry.”

Print “You feel aggravated at the invisible mysterious force.” occasionally when you get hit by the mysterious force.

Gently nerf the ability of pets to steal from shops, so that a player with a stack of meatballs or a magic whistle can’t clear out an entire shop. Suggested ideas:

• Make apport less easily exploitable, requiring more in-depth training than just feeding your pet after it drops items next to you.
• Track the total amount of value lost to a shop by a pet moving items out of it. Once this value exceeds some threshold, the shopkeeper intervenes, either by turning hostile if you continue letting your pet steal after a warning, or attacking the pet.
• Track items that have been stolen from a shop (probably by marking them with the monster ID of the shopkeeper). You can’t resell stolen items; the shopkeeper won’t offer any money for them, instead they will grin and say “Thank you for returning my stolen [item]”, taking ownership of the item. However, this doesn’t solve the problem where you really do want most of the shop’s inventory for yourself.

If possible, work in a “pet-ty theft” YAFM somehow.

If you walk over a banana while fumbling, you slip on it, making a lot of noise and destroying the banana. (This won’t happen if the banana is hidden under some other object on the square though).

Add a message for #tipping your fedora.

If you get a black pudding from kicking a sink and you are hallucinating, print a YAFM “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

If you are hallucinating, replace the message “You can’t fight yourself.” with “You can’t come to terms with your inner conflicts.”

Some YAFMs for pythons should be added, both Monty Python references and jokes about the Python language.

If you sit on a towel, give the YAFM “It’s probably not a good time for a picnic…”

A YAFM when you donate exactly 1/10 of your gold to a priest: “You pay your tithe.”

If a priest gives you two bits for an ale while hallucinating, change the message to “two bitcoins for an ale” (or just use a hallucinatory currency.)

Give a YAFM when you gain very fast speed from any source while hallucinating: “Gotta go fast!”

When breaking an identified wand of nothing, give a YAFM: “Predictably, nothing happens.”

When the hero sits in a corner while wearing a dunce cap, give a YAFM and exercise wisdom.

Give a YAFM for telling a vault guard your name is Spartacus.

When you ride a clinging monster like a wumpus, you get a message about all the blood going to your head.

When the hero observes a fox take fire damage, print a YAFM about Mozilla Firefox or automatically name the fox “Mozilla”.

Hallucinatory message for squeaky boards: “You hear a chicken squawk a B note loudly.”

When hallucinating, replace “You hear a chugging sound” with either “You hear a steam locomotive passing by” or “You hear someone chant ‘Chug, chug, chug!’”

Add a TDTTOE message about swinging your dead cat if you start hitting things with a wielded cat corpse. Also have a separate message “There isn’t enough room to swing your dead cat” if there are 4 or more walls adjacent to you.

When you’re hallucinating, show the Black Market as “Sam’s Club”.

Pressing space gives the YAFM “This command intentionally left blank.”

If you ascend while polymorphed and your role is genocided, your god gives you some YAFM.

Alternatively (or additionally), the game is recorded as “ascended while on Charon’s boat”.

Give a YAFM if you would “sink like a rock” while currently turning to stone, or polymorphed into a stone monster (gargoyles, earth elemental, stone golem).

• if petrifying: “You sink like a rock, because you are becoming one.”
• if a stone monster: “You sink like a rock, because you are one.”

When starting or restoring the game while hallucinating, after the “welcome to NetHack!” message, print the message “NetHack is filmed in front of a live studio audience.”

Give a YAFM when near or chatting to a hallucinogen-distorted leprechaun: “They’re after me lucky charms!”

When either 1) you are hallucinating and hit something well enough to have gotten a ! on the hit message or 2) hit something with a type weakness (fire versus cold-resistant, cold versus fire-resistant, electricity versus water, etc), an additional “It’s super effective!” message is printed.

YAFMs (both regular and hallucinating) for sitting on the Vibrating Square. Something to do with a vibrating chair massage.

When Schroedinger’s Box is probed or has a stethoscope applied to it, it either reveals the housecat corpse inside or releases the live housecat as normal. Alternatively, stethoscopes give “You hear a characteristic WOM WOM WOM sound” as a reference to Bob the Angry Flower, and probing gives you “The box contains a cat that is neither alive nor dead nor alive nor dead nor… You resolve to call the YSPCA later.”

Reading a spellbook while confused may teach you a random spell but only set your memory of it to 1000 turns. It can also reduce memory of all other spells by 1000. Alternatively, it has no real effect, and just prints a message “You were holding the spellbook upside down… You learn the spell of ‘kcol draziw’.” (a random spell name printed backwards).

If you eat a cursed C- or K-ration when hallucinating, you get an MRE YAFM: “That wasn’t a meal, it wasn’t ready, and you shouldn’t have eaten it.”

Apply ‘-‘ for a YAFM: “[Your quest leader] always said you needed to apply yourself!”

YAFM for when polymorphed into a glass golem and you rub a touchstone against “-“.

New or replacement (or hallucination-only) flavor-only message for magic traps: “Your spider senses are tingling!”

When you finish eating a food ration while hallucinating, the game produces the message combination “That food really hit the spot! The spot hits the food ration. The food ration is destroyed!”

If you take damage from eating a hot corpse while hallucinating, you get a YAFM about spicy food.

Chatting to trolls while hallucinating makes them appear to say internet-troll phrases: “Problem?” “U mad bro?” “Trololol!”

Skeletons, or any other monster with MS_BONES, don’t paralyze you by rattling their bones if you’re hallucinating; instead you get a message about it playing the xylophone.

Add “You vaguely feel a vague sense of vagueness” as a hallucinatory message.

Give a YAFM when confused and trying to read a scroll of blank paper: “Being confused, you mispronounce the lack of words…”

If you’re hallucinating and get the “You can’t handle [artifact]!” message, it gives a YAFM referencing A Few Good Men (presumably “You can’t handle the truth!”).

Give YAFM when a monster uses a bullwhip on you while you are polymorphed into a foocubus.

If the hero has see invisible while ascending, swap the line “An invisible choir sings, and you are bathed in radiance…” out for some other YAFM. Perhaps even something as subtle as “A visible choir”.

If you try to eat an artifact and it blasts you to death, put YAFM in the death message: “killed by trying to eat the [artifact]”.

If you die with zero points, end-of-game enlightenment says “You were a noob.”